Thursday, August 9, 2012

For such a time of...CONFRONTATION

Confrontation. Eww, even typing the word makes me anxious! I don't know many people who actually enjoy confronting someone when they feel they have been wronged or upset, unless they just like confrontation for the sake of confrontation. And if that's the case there may be some other issues going on, but that's beside the point. Let's talk about confrontation. I for one do not enjoy confrontation. In fact I am notorious for avoiding it! It's uncomfortable, sometimes there's crying involved and you don't always leave the conversation with warm fuzzies, and I'm a pretty big fan of warm fuzzies. BUT I am constantly reminded during my quiet times that this life will be hard and I won't get my infinite amounts of warm fuzzies until I'm spending eternity with my heavenly father. So that means during this life I will have to confront others who have hurt me and I will also experience confrontation from people who feel I have hurt them and it's not going to be fun. Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:15, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." Well, this is one of those times where Jesus just gets straight to the point. This instruction is very clear. If we're hurt, go to the person who did the hurting, end of story. Don't wait around. Don't harbor the feelings, because when you do that the hurt builds and builds until one day it explodes (I'm speaking from first hand experience). So I ask myself, why is it so hard? Am I the only one who feels this way? This is something I struggle with on a daily basis, and I have a tendency to over analyze situations, well tendency is probably an understatement, and that doesn't make my relationship with confrontation any better. Usually, by the end of my over-analyzation (I think I just invented a word) I've made the issue WAY bigger than it was, which you know is no good. So what now? I've decided to turn it over to you!

What about you? Is confrontation hard for you? What do you do to prepare for confronting someone? Is it more difficult to confront those people closest to you, like family? Are there particular verses you always go to that provide comfort or support? Do you over analyze? How do you combat your tendency to over analyze? I know these are a lot of questions, but I really want to hear your thoughts! So go ahead, comment away! :)


  1. I am with you 100% on this Shelby! You are definitely not the only one who over-analyzes and makes a small issue a much bigger problem. Confrontation is uncomfortable and causes anxiety and just an un-fun part of life. I think it is definitely more difficult to confront the people closest to you because you know you need to let them know how you feel, but don't want to hurt their feelings in their process. Personally, I do not have a particular verse that I turn to, rather I attend mass and take comfort in praying for the strength and/or patience to get through the situation.

  2. When thinking about the word confrontation another's word comes to mind I heard used several years ago. It is the word care-front. As we prepare for sharing with our friends or family what is on our heart regarding our concerns and we keep this word in mind asking God for discernment he will give it to us. One of the request I always make when care fronting a person is to ask God to speak through me so that it isn't me sharing but his spirit through me. I also am blessed too have family that I can turn to and ask for prayer. Having Christian friends and family who love and care about our situation gives us the support here on this earth that we need to deal with difficulties. My favorite verse is from Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not unto your own understandings but in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path". This verse gives me confidence that when we are giving him the honor and glory he will give us all we need to accomplish his purpose even through confrontation. So maybe we coin another new word -carefrontation?